i've grown wiser in the past year than in all my previous years combined.

since going to college, i've been fortunate enough to have many of the greatest experiences of my life. there have been countless times that i've found myself wanting to stop time, to trap a seemingly unremarkable moment in amber and hold onto it forever, no matter how cheesy that may sound. i'm learning to appreciate the simple but frequent beauty in my everyday life-- a perfect sunset, the sense of sisterhood, a perfect song, the greenest the grass has ever looked, the best walk i've ever had, the perfect combination of friends, the most optimistic i've ever felt, often the happiest i've ever been...

it's also been my most frustrating, emotional, and, in some ways, disappointing year ever. i don't know quite what to make of it all yet, but the future is bright and i'm more ready for what life has to offer than ever before.

also, i have to pee.

Currently Watching Sarah Silverman - Jesus is Magic By Laura Silverman, Bob Odenkirk see related

the new xanga stuff is the most confusing thing of my entire life and i hate it.

hm, update:

i never have to step foot on penn manor property again

in less than 2 months i will be in NY to start college. no, i don't know what i'm majoring in. yes, i'm a little nervous that i'm too dumb or too boring for the school, but mostly i'm excited to get the hell out of here.

my mind has become complete mush only 2 weeks into summer vacation. a new personal record?

i feel as if i should end with something profound, so i am forced to plagiarize. here you go...

Ignore your limits, and you are a fool. Accept them, and you are crippled. Accept being a fool as your only limit, and you are no longer troubles with such nonsense.

PEACE A

Currently Listening Welcome to the Pleasuredome By Frankie Goes to Hollywood see related

- relax

i am procrastinating, as usual. i need to write some term paper for gov tomorrow and i haven't started. you think by now i would've matured a little and gained a greater sense of responsibility, but i just haven't. to be honest, i'm about 95% sure i'm going to flunk out of college. if so, i will be depressed for a number of months until realizing i need to move on with my life. then, it will dawn upon me that i have been freed from the shackles of education and the rather dull pre-determined path i'm heading down. instead of following the daily routine of work, school, and sleep that the rest of you will be confined too, my world will be filled with excitement, poverty, and spontaneity. maybe i'll travel the world on a dollar a day. live in a cardboard box or a basement somewhere. take crappy public transportation to my minimum wage job for months until i save up enough for a scooter or bicycle. we'll see. high school is such a joke. que chistoso!

Currently Reading Gangsta Rap Coloring Book By Anthony "Aye Jaye" Morano, Aye Jaye see related

UPDATE:

i am still alive and stuff, but this xanga is not.

p.s. i think i lost all my dvds. i had them in a cd-case thing and now they appear to be gone forever. if you happen to find said case, i will love you foreverrrrrrr <3.

Currently Reading Candide Ou L'Optimiste By Voltaire see related

so i am very much questioning the ultimate usefulness of school. knowledge is, of course, "power" and a fundamental part of life. i honestly do like learning new things, but i don't know if i can handle anymore of the mindless drivel teachers (and students, for that matter) spew every day. the tedious, monotonous, worthless crap they seem to think is important is such a waste of time. a waste of life. i often consider just leaving. you know, pick up my things and run off. go frolick in the woods or something. read a book. listen to some music. TRANSCEND. that's what i want to do. what would you like to do?